Animalistic
by WhiteTea
Summary: To Be an X-men was a calling. To let anyone in was a threat. To be wild was taboo. To be savage was to be forbidden. To be in love and all these things at the same time was just mother fuckin’ crazy.
1. Prologue

Animalistic

Disclaimer: I do not ownX-men or any of the characters or plots.

*****O^O*****

Knock-knock.

"Charles, you wanted to see me?"

Xavier looked up to see Logan standing in the doorway, and ushered him in. He skimmed over the file one last time before calmly placing it back into his right side drawer.

Logan's boots clicked across the wooden panes of the floorboard as he shortened the distance between himself and the professor. He had just finished with his martial arts class, and was hoping to steal Scott's bike for another late night rendezvous. To say he was impatient to this pause in his late night appointment was the least.

Sighing, the professor he accepted the inevitable. Trying to convince Logan of this latest...favor was going to be trying. Shifting his body to a more comfortable position, the professor steeled himself and cleared his throat.

"Logan. I suppose you're wondering-"

"-Why you called me here, yes." He interrupted. Then again he always did. Logan had no qualms about respecting elders. Perhaps because underneath that youthful rejuvenating skin, Logan was just as old-if not older than the Professor himself.

The professor smiled at Logan's apparent agitation, and waved a hand at the green leather chair beside Logan.

"Sit, please."

The rogue X-man's eyes surveyed the room cautiously. His body stiff with indecision, mouth pulled in a taught line, and his guard, like always, up. After a few moments of silence a grunt was heard and the green leather chair creaked across the floor boards as Logan sat down.

Xavier looked over the man. Over the past six years, Logan had matured, but nonetheless remained his…animalistic self. True, he had taken guardianship over three of their bright young women, and become a permanent instructor at the academy. However, if anyone was looking at Logan for a change of character….well they surely were not going to find one. Luckily, Xavier was hoping-no praying for that animalistic, wild, charm that Logan so emitted on a daily basis.

It would be good for her. At least he hoped.

"Charles."

Xavier brought himself out of his musings, and smiled.

"I suppose there's no reason to delay the inevitable. You never were one for pleasantries and idle small talk."

Logan just stared, impatiently.

"A situation has come up and i feel that you are the best candidate to resolve it."

Getting serious Logan leaned forward. "Are you sure you don't want one eye on the job, or 'Ro even?"

The Professor cocked his head to the side.

"And why do you not think yourself a viable candidate?"

He shrugged. "Why the hell would I?"

"I think everyone here believes more in your team abilities more than you do Logan."

He said nothing.

"Remember, I'm only asking this as a favor _not_ an official mission. If you should so chose, you can reject at any time, however concerning the circumstances I believe that in would be in your personal best interest to hear the proposition all the way through before deciding."

Logan gave a chipped nod, hinting at Charles to continue.

"This favor, if you so chose to accept it, is a retrieval and negotiations mission involving one of our own. The individual has been gone for four months, and has shown no signs of returning. As you know the x-men do not kidnap or force an individual to remain against their will…."

Logan tuned the professor out for a minute as he remained seated. His impatient and bored stance changed quickly to show his tension on said topic. His hands clutched the arms of the chair and the whitening of his knuckles showed his agitation on this particular subject. He knew where this was going , and man did he loathe it. Entirely.

"…we are lucky that the brotherhood has not sought her out, but we can only pray that M.P.U. does not take an interest in her now that she has returned to her native lands, unprotected."

Logan's eyebrows furrowed.

"You mean she was stupid enough to go back there?" he gruffly asked, the edge of normally concealed worry evident in his voice. Inside the professor smiled, it might not be a lot, but it just might be enough to push the hot headed X-man into searching for her.

"It is her home Logan, no matter how much we have tried to make her feel as comfortable here. _This _place will never be what the forest is to her."

"Then I say we leave her there."

Xavier looked sympathetically at the man before him.

"The transition is hard for her, Logan. It was hard for you too, once upon a time."

"Hard transition? Are you freakin' kiddin me X? Everyone around here from the X-men to six year old brats have been kissin' er ass trying to get her to stay. Even her own nephew doesn't want anything else to do with her. She left. End of story!"

"She is still a valuable asset to our team. And you know as well as I that Zhane is just hurting from his Aunt's disappearance."

"What has she contributed to this team?" He whispered furiously. His body language twisted to show his frustration. He was still pissed over that stunt she pulled on their last mission. "She's dead weight and we're the ones who're havin' to lug it. Hell, Scott n Kurt agree one hundred percent, n we don't even LIKE each other! She doesn't belong here Xavier! You're fighting a lost cause."

Logan stood up suddenly and brought his fist down on the table with a big bang! His metal claws tearing through the oak desk.

The only thing that could be heard was the deep breaths that Logan was trying to get under control. Slowly his claws retracted. The professor looked at him pensively.

"Whether we all deserve to be here Logan is a question for time itself to answer. Why do the humans deserve to shun us, when they are the very creators of our powers? Why are the mutants still divided by power that neither side is capable of sustaining. Why are you a constant target for fate to continually torment either by the loss of your loved ones, or the uprising of your enemies?

But whether or not it is right to take away that choice, the chance for a fellow man to decide that is a crime." The Professor paused.

"I haven't seen you this passionate in a long time." He spoke softly.

Logan Scoffed.

"Passionate? Ha! That girl is not worth my time. Mission. Rejected." Logan hissed, and turned on his heel leaving the room

It wasn't until Logan was all the way down the hall before the professor mentally invaded his mind with the atomic bomb that changed everything.

"And what about Jubilee's time and Kitty's time…or Rogue's for that matter. Is she worth _**their**_ time, Logan…?"

*****O^O*****


	2. Meditations

Animalistic

Meditations

Disclaimer: I do not own X-men in any way, shape, form, or fashion.

_Inhale In._

…

_Exhale Out._

…

A petite woman sat Indian style in the middle of the forest floor.

_Inhale In. _

…

As she breathed in the musk of the after-rain, a savage symphony made a sweet assault on her ever welcoming ears.

The trumpet of an elephant call, the prowling growl of a Siberian tiger, the flapping of a toucan's wings as it ascending into the canopy. The constant rushing roar of a waterfall, the lone poisonous frog croaking out it's mating call. The wind's fingers plucking through leaves of the trees. A dew drop sliding down a single leaf to splatter into a million mili-drops onto the ebony earth of the forest floor.

_And Exhale Out._

…

A smile grew radiantly on her face. She had missed this.

When she had visited the X-mansion there had been acres upon acres of lush rusty green forest that she would run rampant through every morning. But nothing quite like this. This was the Amazon, her Amazon. Home.

_Inhale In._

…

The X-mansion was an entirely different breed of a different horse. True, it had an extensive wildlife playground, most of the wildlife being the children themselves. True, it held a small special place in her heart. But, it was a cage, a building that had entrapped her very soul. There were social norms to be followed, and taboos to be disdained. It was an institution of routine, and the mundane, but here in the wild the fate of any animal could change like the current of the wind.

_Exhale out_

…

_Inhale In_

….

The X-men were a colorful bunch of "comic book heroes". Everything that she would have expected from the special reports on the …what was it called, oh yeah! Te-li-v-sun. It was no surprise to her that when she had become better acquainted with them, that Gambit of all wild characters had begun to call her Amazon. Real creative, Cajun. Real creative. Of course, everyone else had followed suit and soon it had become her "X-man alias". It was refreshing to be around males who weren't completely asinine. A complete change from her…old life.

_Exhale out. _

…

Gambit had become her favorite automatically. His Cajun charm and laid back joking manner had warmed itself into her heart immediately. If she had to put a label on him then he would be like a brother to her, obviously younger though. Not bad looking either! _Wink wink_

Inhale In.

…

Cyclops was too uptight. And even though she admired his code of ethics and honor, she didn't necessarily appreciate his holier than thou attitude. Label? Annoying distant cousin, twice removed.

Exhale Out.

…

Nightcrawler and Beast? She gave a mirthful laugh, interrupting the sequence of steady breathing in her meditation technique. Brothers that you could confide in about anything! Nightcrawler was so tentative, and his voice held a relaxing chloroform to it. He never spoke above his soft spoken tone. She loved that about him. He was _pretty_ unique looking.

_Inhale in._

…

Beast, however made damn sure (in a polite way of course) that she knew when she was being difficult. He never passed up the chance to lecture her on ways that she could …curb her unappealing qualities. But in all fairness he had helped her with her English. She blushed. She was still having problems, maybe she should go see him? And then there was Logan…

_BIG exhale out. _

_!!!_

You know that co-worker that seems to be a total natural disaster, and yet EVERYBODY couldn't see their lives without them. Well, that's how she saw Logan in relation to the entire X-mansion. Egotistic, daredevil, loner, and a constant pain in the ass! Heaven knows why the other inhabitants liked or tolerated his company. She sure didn't have a damn clue. He had gotten under her skin, from the moment that they had met with his haughty eyes and wise cracks about her…culture. The _only_ redeeming quality about that man was that he had taken in three young women of the younger generation of X-men.

She felt a clinch in her chest.

_.Tsk_

Those girls owned her heart, well 50% of it anyway. Jubilee,Kitty… ,and Rogue. She had felt that all of them deserved to know the real reason as to her abrupt departure four months ago. And let's just say that they were not satisfied by any means. Especially Rogue.

Rogue had said that she was being too hard on her new "environment". That the only person that wasn't giving her a chance was herself.

Had she been too hard on the x-men by leaving as she did? Had she really even given them a chance, or was she just a coward who wanted the same "institution of routine" that she had just criticized.

_Sigh._

It didn't matter. The Amazon was her home, and that was never going to change. She didn't want it to. She was too much of a coward to let it change, and that was as simple as breathing.

_Inhale In. _

…

_Exhale Out._

…

_Inhale In. _

…

_And Exhale Out._

…


End file.
